Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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