what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
