One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
