Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Randomize
