You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Sorry my hands just texted you
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
