I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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