Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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