Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
