If that was your dad, he is hot
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Randomize
