best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
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