thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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