Fuck appropriateness.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
