That's intense
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Randomize
