I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I lost the right to judge tonight
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
