note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Randomize
