i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
