It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
