Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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