I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
