Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
