I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
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