I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
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