So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Randomize
