watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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