Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
