My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
wow bdsm is so cute
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
