Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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