i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
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