please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
i used baking grease as lip gloss
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
