if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I deserve this hangover.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
