Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
