and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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