"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
31 Times Kim Kardashian Showed Her Love For Balmain
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
19 Tricks To Help You Join The Mile High Club
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?