get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
i think i scared a bird with my dick
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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