I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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