Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize