This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
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