You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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