Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Randomize