I think I won the penis lottery.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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