I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
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i would one night stand the shit outta him
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
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