You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
