He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
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