My brain says no but my pants say off.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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