I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize
