Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
