yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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