I can text with my tongue
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
