Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
