Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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