Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Randomize
