I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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