they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Randomize
