Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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