your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
