Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
