it was like his penis was on wheels.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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