You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
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