so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
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