weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
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