Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
