just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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