Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I look excited, but its just a facade.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
