I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
