I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
my shit smells like andre
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Randomize