it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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